Dear Job: It’s Not Me, It’s You… A Break-Up

May 1, 2018

Dear Job,

We need to talk.

Yeah, I know there’s work to do. There’s always work to do. But this is important.

I want you to know I’ve given this a lot of thought. I don’t take this decision lightly.

I don’t think this is working out between us.

It’s been a few years, a decade actually, and I think it’s time we split up. I’ve invested quite a bit in this relationship and I’m not getting enough in return.

What we had was special… at first. I found you attractive. You wanted me. I wanted you. I liked the idea of you – of us, together.

Everyone told me how lucky I was to be with you. I even moved for you so I could be with you all the time.

But somehow, in trying to be everything you wanted me to be… in taking care of all your needs… I neglected my own.

You became so possessive of my time, I never felt I had enough for anyone or anything else. It’s like you expect me to be at your beck and call all day and night, weekends too.

I need a life outside of this relationship. And you don’t seem to get that.

It’s not me. It’s you.

The truth is, I’ve been unhappy for a while.

I tried to tell you. I asked for things you wouldn’t or couldn’t give me.

I waited for them. Year after year I waited.

I’m done being patient. I can’t wait any longer.

What? Oh now you’ll give it to me? Now that I have one foot out the door, suddenly I matter to you?

It’s too late.

My mind is made up. I’m leaving you.

I just can’t do this any more. I’m not happy.

No, I am not with anyone else.

No, there was no gig on the side!

How could I even have had time for a side hustle?

Look, I think it’s best if we both move on. I have no doubt you’ll find someone else. You’ll be fine.

What’s that? There are a million others who would love to fill my shoes? Well, OK then, you should have no trouble filling them.

Yes, I’m sure you can find someone younger and willing to jump into this relationship. I get that.

I’ll just pack my things.

Oh, now you’re crying.

And you’re sorry.

I’m not. I feel like I had to learn what I don’t want in order to find what I do. So, thank you for that.

Maybe some day we can look back on our time together with fondness.

You’re a part of my history. You’ll always be on my resume.

I wish you the best. I hope you find all that you’re looking for.

I’m leaving so that I can find what I’m looking for. And so that I can be my best.

I’ll let you get back to your work, now.

You’ve got a lot of it.



Valerie Gordon had a long-term relationship with the corporate world. Now, as the founder of Commander-in-She, she helps clients capitalize on the power of their stories for greater success and satisfaction at work. Visit for more, including more humor articles. 

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